Tuesday, September 20, 2016

The wedding.

One glorious day the sun was rising  it was beautiful.  There was a lady who was beautiful she was ging to a wedding. when the wedding was starting the lady said ´im going to get some ear then when she was out side she triped in the foris t she triped in a matte.
Then there was a man who went to help her get up.
Then afther a few moth the marry.

1 comment:

  1. You have started off well using powerful words and details - 'one glorious day the sun was rising and it was beautiful'. Great! You have tried to add dialogue and use speech marks (I can help you put these in the right place)

    Next steps - adding more detail to your problem and solution.
    -why was she going outside to need some air? (how was she feeling?)
    -what did she trip on?
    -who was the man? the man she was going to marry?
    -what happened when the man helped her up?
    -what happened in the few months between when the lady tripped and they got married?

    ReplyDelete